1 00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,859 Unknown: Very important topic for many people. 2 00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:21,179 question that a lot of people ask themselves, do I even need 3 00:00:21,179 --> 00:00:26,549 this relationship? And you know, what is a really correct 4 00:00:26,549 --> 00:00:30,329 question is a really important question that many people don't 5 00:00:30,329 --> 00:00:36,809 even ask themselves. You see, in our culture we are growing up 6 00:00:36,809 --> 00:00:42,149 for example, and it starts with our immediate family. We always 7 00:00:42,149 --> 00:00:46,469 think we owe them something we owe our parents our lives we owe 8 00:00:46,469 --> 00:00:51,239 our brothers or teachers or grandmothers, everybody will 9 00:00:51,239 --> 00:00:54,719 everybody before we even conscious about this only thing. 10 00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:57,120 We already told everybody everything 11 00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:02,010 and then we grow accustomed to the site.

Idea that we somehow 12 00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:06,120 need to keep this relationships going just because you related 13 00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:09,930 to somebody by blood, for example, you need to have that 14 00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:14,310 relationship. This idea of family that many cultures are 15 00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:14,940 saturated 16 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,350 with. It's not 17 00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:20,190 quite understood also, but it's a different topic, of course. 18 00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,850 But generally just think about it. We're all have the same 19 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:28,080 blood, all of us in some way, one or another. We all share one 20 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:32,820 DNA, all of us will all have the same blood.

So why in many 21 00:01:32,820 --> 00:01:36,960 cultures, we're all separating ourselves from anybody else. 22 00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:38,820 If it's not immediate family, then 23 00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:43,140 he's not a family. He's He's others. He's another He's 24 00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:47,430 practically an enemy could be, but in many families, it's quite 25 00:01:47,430 --> 00:01:51,900 opposite. Many families don't like their own members, and you 26 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:55,020 can be an enemy with your own brother or sister or father or 27 00:01:55,020 --> 00:02:01,380 mother. Take example of many abusive families.

When Parents 28 00:02:01,650 --> 00:02:06,060 use their kids, when husband abuses his wife or vice versa. 29 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:12,630 It also happens. These are not proper relationships to be in. 30 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:13,770 And the 31 00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:16,020 question arises, 32 00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:18,240 so should I 33 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,430 didn't keep this relationship or not. 34 00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:24,180 It doesn't matter if it's your parents, it's your coworker, 35 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:28,590 it's your friend. If it's your husband 36 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:29,160 or 37 00:02:29,970 --> 00:02:33,600 anything, it doesn't really matter.

The only thing that 38 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,320 matters is for you to feel good in a certain kind of 39 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:42,450 relationship. If you don't, then maybe it's a good time to ask 40 00:02:42,449 --> 00:02:44,819 yourself the question, Do I still need this relationship? 41 00:02:46,439 --> 00:02:51,929 You see all relationships, they either transform and grow, or 42 00:02:51,929 --> 00:02:57,239 they die. There's no third thing here. Okay? You either work in 43 00:02:57,239 --> 00:03:01,529 it and think is to something new.

So relationship becomes 44 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:05,669 something else, and different status for different being that 45 00:03:05,999 --> 00:03:09,419 that is good for everybody. That's still good for everybody. 46 00:03:09,509 --> 00:03:13,919 It's revised. And now everybody enjoys a new role in this 47 00:03:13,979 --> 00:03:20,399 different relationship. And then it has a future. But if one 48 00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:24,029 party is not agreed to a new kind of role, and another one 49 00:03:24,059 --> 00:03:26,489 already wants a different kind of role, 50 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,130 then this relationship 51 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:30,750 is doomed, 52 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:31,770 basically.

53 00:03:32,220 --> 00:03:36,090 But what I want you to understand that it's totally 54 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:40,950 okay to let go this relationships. More than that, 55 00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:47,640 you should do it. You need to do it to grow. You see, in order to 56 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,240 grow, we have to let go things otherwise we carry all this 57 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:56,010 baggage with us all our lives, this person and that person. You 58 00:03:56,010 --> 00:04:01,020 just need to let them go if you outgrow them If you're a grown 59 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:05,220 certain kind of relationship, this is totally normal to let 60 00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:12,450 go. The good example is parent and kid relationship.

Keep 61 00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:16,980 growing up, he has his own life, he can move out, he can start 62 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:20,970 living his life. He doesn't owe anything to his parents. He 63 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,590 didn't have a choice to be born. 64 00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,269 So he's not 65 00:04:24,299 --> 00:04:27,449 obligated in any possible way to his parents. He can 66 00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:30,630 be grateful. He can be respectful, he can do all of 67 00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:31,380 those things.

68 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,169 But he doesn't own anything 69 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,980 is really important to understand. 70 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:42,240 And many people they think they owe their parents and that's why 71 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:48,390 they cannot break every negative relationships in their lives, or 72 00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:48,930 at least 73 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,130 to change them 74 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:55,769 because they're dirt free of the conflict with parents or they're 75 00:04:55,769 --> 00:05:00,239 afraid of judgment from their friends or from others. More 76 00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:01,019 relatives 77 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:01,710 or something. 78 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:06,690 So they choose to say in this very negative type of 79 00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:11,880 relationship that actually don't have giving you any need 80 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,300 anything good in your life, and they just make your life 81 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:20,460 miserable. So whatever the type of relationship is, you need to 82 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,640 always understand it is your choice to grow.

It is your 83 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,420 choice to let go, it is your choice to try to transform. 84 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:28,560 And of course, it's 85 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,410 it's best to try to transform the relationship first instead 86 00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:35,520 of just cutting. Oh, yes. Now I finally understand that I can 87 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,270 just let go and just just forget everybody. Yes, of course you 88 00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:41,790 can do it. But once you like to 89 00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,200 just try to transform 90 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:47,400 your relationship to a different level.

How cool couldn't be 91 00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:49,860 pocos people that you grew up with, let's say 92 00:05:50,429 --> 00:05:51,359 they could be like 93 00:05:51,359 --> 00:05:52,349 minded people. 94 00:05:52,559 --> 00:05:56,039 And they can grow with you. They can travel with you. They can 95 00:05:56,369 --> 00:05:59,639 learn new things with you. They can share new experiences with 96 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:03,719 you. The relationship grows stronger and stronger.

Instead 97 00:06:03,719 --> 00:06:07,319 of just cutting them off and building relationship, I knew 98 00:06:07,319 --> 00:06:10,559 from somebody with somebody else with a completely new person, 99 00:06:11,429 --> 00:06:14,069 which is also great. I'm not saying that's 100 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:14,759 not great, I'm just 101 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:15,150 saying. 102 00:06:16,529 --> 00:06:19,829 It's good to have this fulfilling, long lasting 103 00:06:19,829 --> 00:06:22,949 relationships. And it's nice to build them from scratch, it's 104 00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:28,919 nice to work on them for for as much as you can, the more the 105 00:06:28,919 --> 00:06:32,069 more you're together, the more experiences to share, the 106 00:06:32,099 --> 00:06:36,449 greater the relationship will be. So always try to transform 107 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,339 and how you do that as just 108 00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,829 like, just purely by talking, 109 00:06:41,039 --> 00:06:44,909 just sit down another person and just have a conversation 110 00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:47,430 with them.

Revise this roles, realize 111 00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:48,570 this understanding. 112 00:06:49,559 --> 00:06:50,849 Express your feelings, 113 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:55,379 explaining where you're heading. What's your direction in life, 114 00:06:55,379 --> 00:06:57,119 and what do you want from life and from this 115 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:00,510 relationship, and if the other person is not on the same page, 116 00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:02,040 it is totally okay. 117 00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:06,390 respect your decision and explain them that you will not 118 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:09,720 be able to spend so much time or attention with them anymore 119 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,200 because this is what it is so much for your question for how 120 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,140 do I do it? How do I break this relationship? 121 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,170 Just like that.

It's really simple. 122 00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:21,450 And I know it might seem hard because 123 00:07:22,829 --> 00:07:26,729 a lot of people have this problem with saying no, but the 124 00:07:26,729 --> 00:07:28,139 perspective themselves 125 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:28,680 and 126 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,740 Sadly, many people also have this victim mentality. They're 127 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:38,610 like, I'm poor, poor me, like I can do this. Like what would I 128 00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:44,370 do if? If somebody found out that I did this? Just Just stop 129 00:07:44,370 --> 00:07:47,730 doing it yourself?

Honestly, it's really that simple. We just 130 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:51,360 do it. We just come talk to this person and just express 131 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,790 everything. Don't tell him what you don't like don't tell them 132 00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:57,570 how bad they are. No, just telling how we want your life 133 00:07:57,630 --> 00:08:01,830 and how unsatisfied with this fruit Should you are and how 134 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:05,610 would you like it to be? And if it's not something that they 135 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:10,170 want, it's totally okay.

It's okay to let it go. You don't 136 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,780 have to tell them at all, we're not going to see each other 137 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,340 because you don't know. But they will understand where you 138 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:18,570 heading. So they're 139 00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:20,100 not lagging here, 140 00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:24,510 okay? So it's constant communication. So maybe they 141 00:08:24,510 --> 00:08:28,980 will decide to more in depth, they still want to go with you.

142 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,720 Okay? So, try not to not to cut all these things off really 143 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:38,340 fast, but give people time, give people options and always think 144 00:08:38,340 --> 00:08:42,900 how much you want to invest in this thing. Okay. One more 145 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:46,350 thing. I want to mention this about the abusive relationships, 146 00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:51,900 particularly, you know, there's so many situations that people 147 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:55,980 are not leaving the abusive relationships because of this 148 00:08:55,980 --> 00:09:00,150 victim mentality. A lot of times, people really like it.

If 149 00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:05,520 it's you, you really need to sit down and just try to understand 150 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,790 why you're doing this to yourself. Because there's so 151 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:09,420 much better 152 00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:10,650 things for you out there. 153 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:15,150 So many like there's so many great people. You deserve a 154 00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:19,590 great relationship. You deserve to be treated like a queen like 155 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:22,530 a king. You deserve to be treated with love.

You deserve 156 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:25,650 love. You deserve the best relationships that you can 157 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:29,370 possibly get. Every single one of us deserve that. 158 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,270 So 159 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:35,760 I wish you that. And if you if you feel like, well, but he 160 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:40,380 still loves me, no person who abused you. He doesn't love you.

161 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:44,490 He doesn't care about you. He only cares about himself. There 162 00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:48,840 is no such thing as love and abuse in one sentence is just 163 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,710 impossible. Otherwise, it's not love that you're talking about. 164 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,820 You need to get your definition straight. So please, if it 165 00:09:56,820 --> 00:10:00,000 concerns you in some way, just take some time.

166 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:03,539 Sit down and just revise this relationship for 167 00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:06,840 yourself. Just ask yourself like, why am I still staying 168 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,170 here? Why am I in this relationship? What am I getting 169 00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:13,620 out of this and you will see majority of times just 170 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:16,110 the victim mentality that you just want 171 00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:20,400 to get this tap on the back. Or maybe when you go to your mom 172 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,940 and cry afterwards, like, Oh, you know, this person hurts me 173 00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:27,000 all the time. You get this pat on the back and you feel secure 174 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,200 and you feel this nice warmth.

Like somebody cares about you 175 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,880 finally, but believe me, you can get so much more you could just 176 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:41,100 leave this behind them grow, just grow out of this. Because 177 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:45,450 if you say nothing gonna change ever, it will still stay the 178 00:10:45,450 --> 00:10:49,590 same. So it's up to you to decide. Maybe there's something 179 00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:53,130 better for you there. And don't be afraid to leave because as 180 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:56,850 soon as you leave something or something new, something better 181 00:10:56,970 --> 00:11:01,050 will always come. Everything is always better.

Even if it 182 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:03,750 doesn't seem that way, it's just your fears that will tell you 183 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:04,440 something, 184 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,559 something's going to be not that great or it could be worse. 185 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,670 No, it cannot be worse. It will always be better, too. Don't be 186 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:15,240 afraid. And don't be afraid to ask for help. It's really 187 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,990 important if you're, if you feel like you're scared, if you feel 188 00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:21,090 like you don't know what's going to happen, 189 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,490 like when you when you leave this version, 190 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:27,239 when I've used a relationship, just don't be afraid to 191 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:28,980 talk to your friends, talk to 192 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:33,840 somebody, don't don't be afraid to ask for help.

Because there's 193 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:39,360 so many people that are open to help you. Okay? So do yourself a 194 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:45,090 favor. Just sit down, take some time and get out of this 195 00:11:45,090 --> 00:11:49,320 already. You're not going to lose anything. Really.

You will 196 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,520 only gain so much. 197 00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,180 That's pretty much what I wanted to 198 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:54,720 talk about. 199 00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:56,670 And 200 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,470 let's get to Juicy parts