1 00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:12,359 Unknown: Okay, welcome back. 2 00:00:13,019 --> 00:00:14,249 Now we'll talk about 3 00:00:14,729 --> 00:00:16,139 types of relationships. 4 00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:19,859 So obviously, there's so many types of relationships they're 5 00:00:19,859 --> 00:00:20,819 already mentioned 6 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:22,169 before. 7 00:00:22,919 --> 00:00:27,599 Let's take a look for example, at mother and son or mother and 8 00:00:27,599 --> 00:00:28,739 a daughter, parent, 9 00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:30,569 and some parent 10 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,760 and the kid relationship. Okay. 11 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,670 So what is really specific about this type of relationship?

If 12 00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:42,060 you look at it as an objective from objective point of view, 13 00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,760 we have two different characters. 14 00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:50,070 Just let's take for example, one kid and one parent. So, what 15 00:00:50,070 --> 00:00:55,650 kind of relationship is between them? What is this based on? And 16 00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:00,840 you will notice by observing in every relationship One person 17 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:05,850 normally placed one role, and another one place another role 18 00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:09,600 in this particular relationship, of course, mother 19 00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:11,460 plays the role of a mother. 20 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:16,650 And what does it mean to play a role of a mother, destitute 21 00:01:16,650 --> 00:01:22,050 intentionally.

Now really, it's just something that she grows 22 00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:29,010 accustomed to. By raising the kid she grows a certain 23 00:01:29,070 --> 00:01:33,660 abilities certain outlook on this relationship. And you see, 24 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,560 normally those kind of relationships, they never get 25 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:43,650 revised. They're always say, this relationship, and you see 26 00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:49,590 that a lot when you see a mother who is 65 and the kid that's 27 00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:54,120 like 45, and they still have this mother and son 28 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,320 relationship. So the relationship actually haven't 29 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:04,530 grown for What 20 something years? Okay, 30 00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:07,410 so what is the other side of this thing?

31 00:02:07,559 --> 00:02:08,519 On the other side 32 00:02:08,549 --> 00:02:12,149 is this kid who first of course doesn't even have 33 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:14,190 any clue about this relationship 34 00:02:14,249 --> 00:02:17,189 that it exists because he's a kid he doesn't know better, 35 00:02:17,849 --> 00:02:20,759 then he starts growing up. And from his perspective, 36 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,870 he barely started 37 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:27,719 starts to find out what is this thing, this relationship that he 38 00:02:27,719 --> 00:02:32,849 needs to behave in a very certain way with his mother, for 39 00:02:32,849 --> 00:02:37,319 example, then he needs to behave in a very certain way with his 40 00:02:37,319 --> 00:02:41,909 father and then with his siblings, or with his teacher, 41 00:02:42,119 --> 00:02:48,569 or with his classmates, in federate cetera, etc. So when he 42 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:52,499 grows up, he learns that there's so many different relationships 43 00:02:52,529 --> 00:02:54,029 and how are they different 44 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,110 because in essence, they 45 00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:58,470 are all relationships.

So they're only different in the 46 00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:59,280 roles 47 00:02:59,489 --> 00:03:00,809 that the key We'll play 48 00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:03,000 with every different person. 49 00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:06,840 Okay, so what I'm trying to say here is 50 00:03:07,859 --> 00:03:09,149 every relationship 51 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:15,360 is based on some kind of roles. And it is really important that 52 00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:21,660 all parties know their particular role. And they revise 53 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,040 that relationship 54 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:28,320 periodically, periodically to understand 55 00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:32,040 if the roles are changing or not because every relationship 56 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,330 transforms with time. We all know that when you're in a team 57 00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:41,580 2025 you leave your parents house. And that's, that's more 58 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:42,450 or less 59 00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:44,070 customary in our society.

60 00:03:44,460 --> 00:03:45,420 That's okay. 61 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:49,290 Should the relationship still stay the same? 62 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,640 Because in majority 63 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:55,230 of cases, it stays the same. In many cases, you will see the 64 00:03:55,650 --> 00:04:01,020 parents even when they're 50 6070 years old, They still 65 00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:04,530 look at their kids as just kids. 66 00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:07,770 Okay? They never transform their relationship 67 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,400 to a different level.

And therefore, they feel that 68 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:11,610 they're 69 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:12,600 entitled 70 00:04:12,930 --> 00:04:18,750 to dictate certain rules to their kids dictate how to live 71 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:21,660 their lives. And they're always 72 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,780 thinking that they have this right 73 00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:28,200 to stick their nose in kids business. 74 00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:35,160 And in many societies, it's even considered. Like it's supposed 75 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,160 to be this way. Like it's supposed to be good. It's really 76 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,950 good that not parents caring for for children, 77 00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:43,620 but it's not.

It's not normal. 78 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:44,490 That's 79 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:46,410 just 80 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:50,310 not the appropriate way of transforming the relationship. 81 00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:54,150 every relationship needs to be transformed. In the case of 82 00:04:54,210 --> 00:05:00,180 mother and the son. For example, mother has to let the kid go. At 83 00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:00,840 some point, 84 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,090 and the relationship needs to be transformed 85 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:06,840 to a completely different level, for example, friendship 86 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,530 relationship, 87 00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:08,790 otherwise, 88 00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:12,780 when kid grows up, he wants to be 89 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:18,240 adult, and he cannot feel like an adult.

He doesn't have that 90 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,640 support from another 91 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,730 person from his mother, for example, or from his father. 92 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:29,790 They always try to dominate, dominate this relationship. And 93 00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:33,720 when he grows up a lot, it's only proper for him to he'll 94 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:39,060 start to equal equal with the parents and in many cases, kids, 95 00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:44,250 they over outgrow their parents and this is the proper way of, 96 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,890 of course developing themselves. 97 00:05:46,919 --> 00:05:48,299 Kids are always 98 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,660 kids should always have more potential 99 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,060 than their parents. 100 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:56,760 They're here to only grow, outgrow their parents 101 00:05:56,790 --> 00:06:00,810 bring something new. Like capitalize on Their appearances 102 00:06:00,810 --> 00:06:08,010 experience and grow further.

Okay. So in this particular type 103 00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:12,180 of relationship, you can see that imbalance and the necessity 104 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:17,130 of transformation of the relationship. So, for example, 105 00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:20,640 also men and woman relationship, really typical relationship that 106 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,690 everybody's really concerned about. So let's say a young 107 00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:30,960 woman meets a young man, and they're both 18 1920. Okay, what 108 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,230 do you think is in their heads at this time? I understand that 109 00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:38,100 if you're 18 and 19, you perceive a world of certain way.

110 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:43,200 But what if you're 60 right now? What do you think he's inside 111 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:47,100 their head? You understand that they're just kids? Of course, 112 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,100 when we were kids, we don't think that way. But, hey, 113 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,830 for those of us who understand 114 00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:58,680 those kids, and when they're 18 1920, they're just kids. And 115 00:06:58,740 --> 00:07:02,790 when they get together is only for certain kinds of reasons is 116 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:06,180 predominantly sexual sexuality driven, 117 00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,620 it's based on sex 118 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:12,090 is based on passion.

It's based on like really 119 00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:14,520 certain common interests usually. 120 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,310 Or in some countries, of course, 121 00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:19,050 it's based on what 122 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:20,520 your parents told tell you, 123 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:23,820 like India, for example, they tell you to marry this person 124 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,340 and you just go ahead and marry them and say it and have 125 00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:29,550 relationship with them, even though you don't have any 126 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:34,710 relationship with them, but you have to build it. So, in this 127 00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:38,490 case, imagine the same case at 128 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:41,550 30. Should there should their 129 00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:45,810 relationship stay the same? By the time of course they have a 130 00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:50,940 kid already? Is it still the same relationship now involves 131 00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:55,920 another person.

Now a guy has to provide for his family now a 132 00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:01,200 woman has a lot more responsibilities, also. So what 133 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,270 kind of relationship they have right now? 134 00:08:04,589 --> 00:08:05,579 Nobody knows. 135 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:10,469 And you know what? majority of people never revise this type of 136 00:08:10,469 --> 00:08:14,219 relationship. They think, well, we have a relationship.

It's the 137 00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:17,309 same relationship. But it's never the same relationship. 138 00:08:17,459 --> 00:08:20,279 Whether you like it or not, we're always changing. As human 139 00:08:20,279 --> 00:08:24,389 beings, we are always changing. You're never the same person. 140 00:08:25,079 --> 00:08:30,599 always different.

Okay? So, basically, what I'm trying to 141 00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:35,849 say is, I want you to see this many roles in different 142 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,569 relationships. And the relationship needs to grow, 143 00:08:39,599 --> 00:08:43,679 relationship needs to transform, and everybody in this 144 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:47,339 relationship needs to clearly understand their roles at 145 00:08:47,339 --> 00:08:50,909 different stages of this relationship. Why was grown? 146 00:08:50,969 --> 00:08:54,059 Okay, so in the beginning, it has to be clear understanding. 147 00:08:54,149 --> 00:08:57,629 I'm a guy and you're a girl.

And what's the 148 00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:59,429 point of this relationship? We're just hanging 149 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:02,190 out with We're heading somewhere. We want to spend some 150 00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:06,060 more time with each other What, what's going on? And then few 151 00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:11,790 time, a few months or years later, you should get together. 152 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:16,710 And again, see, we're about to have a kid now. So what is our 153 00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:20,760 relationship?

Now? I'm not just a guy anymore. I'm a man, I need 154 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:25,560 to support my future family, and what are you gonna do? You are a 155 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:29,460 woman now, and you need to take on certain responsibilities. 156 00:09:29,550 --> 00:09:34,320 Okay? So it's really simple.

These things need to be revised. 157 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,940 And the more often you do it, the better the relationship you 158 00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:45,330 will have because you need to understand who's doing what, who 159 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:48,330 plays what part in this relationship. And there's so 160 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:51,120 many different types of those relationships. And we're going 161 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,220 to talk about the balance and this 162 00:09:54,029 --> 00:09:56,489 is really important. This is where it starts 163 00:09:56,550 --> 00:10:01,350 to understand your role in this relationship. Okay, to summarize 164 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:06,270 this, there are many types of relationships in every single 165 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:10,350 type of relationship would play a different role.

You need to 166 00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:16,410 understand your particular role in every single relationship 167 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:21,720 that you have. And finally, you need to keep revising that roll 168 00:10:21,869 --> 00:10:24,869 over time. So you always understand 169 00:10:25,139 --> 00:10:26,759 what kind of relationship 170 00:10:26,819 --> 00:10:28,589 is going on right now 171 00:10:28,619 --> 00:10:33,329 at any given moment in time. Okay, so everybody is on the 172 00:10:33,329 --> 00:10:38,399 same page. It's not only you need to understand where you are 173 00:10:38,459 --> 00:10:41,699 as a role, you need to understand that other person in 174 00:10:41,699 --> 00:10:45,899 relationship also understands what roles are you playing, 175 00:10:46,169 --> 00:10:47,459 understands your role, 176 00:10:47,519 --> 00:10:48,389 and you understand 177 00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:52,799 he's role also. So you're both on the same page.

And you both 178 00:10:52,889 --> 00:10:55,529 okay with this kind of roles, because 179 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,599 if you both played the same role, it's a 180 00:10:57,630 --> 00:10:59,910 you are a parent. Now also, you have your own 181 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:05,129 And then your mom, she's thinking she's a parent. But 182 00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:09,569 you, you're not feeling anymore like a kid because you are 183 00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:13,619 parent already. So it cannot be same relationship. So you always 184 00:11:13,619 --> 00:11:17,759 tell your mom, hey, I'm not a kid anymore and your mom's not 185 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:19,889 kidding. And that's the problem 186 00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:20,819 in a relationship.

187 00:11:21,329 --> 00:11:23,639 Okay? For many people, by the way, 188 00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:28,769 so it's about making certain boundaries about understanding 189 00:11:28,769 --> 00:11:29,699 your roles, 190 00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:32,189 and revising your relationships. 191 00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:34,739 So ask yourself, 192 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,899 who are you in your relationships? Who are you? Are 193 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,499 you playing? Are you still playing some old roles that are 194 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,110 not useful to you anymore?

195 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,840 Are you still a keep at 40? 196 00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:56,969 Are you still a boy at 40 in your relationship? Are you still 197 00:11:56,969 --> 00:12:01,049 a girl these are really important. Questions to Ask 198 00:12:01,049 --> 00:12:04,649 yourself and we're gonna have some assignments. 199 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,460 Okay, so let's 200 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:09,840 let's continue